How to Get a Parenting Plan Approved in South Africa

If you need to get a parenting plan approved in South Africa, the process is more straightforward than many parents expect, but the details matter enormously. A parenting plan is a written agreement that sets out how separated or divorced parents will share parental responsibilities and rights over their children, and it draws its authority from the Children’s Act 38 of 2005. At Mandy Simpson Attorneys, I guide clients through every stage of this process, from the first negotiation meeting to formal registration with the Office of the Family Advocate and, where necessary, conversion into an enforceable court order.

This guide covers the full journey: drafting, registration, court approval, enforcement and variation, with sample clauses and a practical checklist you can use immediately.

Here is what you will find on this page:

• A 6-step quick checklist summarising exactly how to get a parenting plan approved.
• The legal basis for parenting plans under the Children’s Act
• Detailed step-by-step guidance on negotiation, drafting, Family Advocate registration and court applications
• Sample clauses and a downloadable template you can adapt
• A comparison table, Family Advocate registration vs court order vs private agreement
• Enforcement, variation and revocation routes
• Answers to the most frequently asked questions, including the “7-7-7 rule,” access disputes and fitness for custody

Quick Checklist, 6 Steps to Get a Parenting Plan Approved in South Africa

Before diving into the detail, here is the high-level roadmap. Every parenting plan follows the same six-stage sequence, whether you are married, divorced, or an unmarried parent.

1. Negotiate the terms. Both parents (and, where appropriate, a mediator or family law attorney) discuss the terms of the parenting plan, including but not limited to care arrangements, contact schedules, schooling, medical decisions and transport logistics.
2. Draft the plan in writing. Record every agreed term in a clear document which is to be signed by both parties. Use the sample clauses below or a parenting plan template designed for South Africa.
3. Register with the Family Advocate. Submit the signed parenting plan, together with the prescribed application documents, to the Office of the Family Advocate for registration. This service is provided free of charge.
4. Convert to a court order (optional but recommended). Apply to the appropriate court to have the parenting plan made an order of court, which generally provides stronger enforcement mechanisms if a parent fails to comply.
5. Implement and enforce. Follow the plan. If a parent fails to comply, enforcement remedies may include mediation through the Family Advocate, an application to court to enforce the plan, or, where the plan has been made an order of court, contempt application.
6. Review and amend as circumstances change. Children grow, circumstances shift, and parenting plans should be updated when necessary. Any amendments should be recorded in writing and, where appropriate, re-registered with the Family Advocate or made an amended court order.

What Is a Parenting Plan Under South African Law?

Legal basis, the Children’s Act 38 of 2005

A parenting plan is a formal agreement between the holders of parental responsibilities and rights (PRR) that regulates how those responsibilities will be exercised after the parents separate. Section 33 of the Children’s Act 38 of 2005 provides for parenting plans and the circumstances in which co-holders of parental responsibilities and rights may or must seek to agree on one. Section 34 sets out the formal requirements for a parenting plan, including its registration with the Family Advocate or its incorporation into an order of court. The Act defines parental responsibilities and rights in section 18 to include the responsibility and right to care for the child, to maintain contact with the child, to act as guardian, and to contribute to the maintenance of the child.

Parenting plans are not restricted to divorcing couples. Any co-parenting agreement in South Africa, whether between married parents, unmarried parents, or parents who were never in a relationship, may be documented in a parenting plan where it is appropriate to regulate the exercise of parental responsibilities and rights. The Children’s Act makes no distinction based on marital status: any person who holds PRR in respect of a child may enter into a parenting plan with any other person who also holds PRR.

The overriding principle in every parenting plan is the best interests of the child. Section 7 of the Children’s Act lists the factors a court or decision-maker must consider when determining what is in the child’s best interests. These include the child’s age, maturity and stage of development; the nature of the personal relationship between the child and each parent; the attitude of each parent towards the child; the capacity of each parent to provide for the child’s needs; and any history of abuse or neglect.

Step-by-Step, How to Get a Parenting Plan Approved in South Africa

Getting a parenting plan approved involves negotiation, proper documentation, and formal registration or court approval. Below, I break each phase into actionable steps.

Step 1, Negotiate and agree the terms

The starting point is always negotiation. In my experience, the most durable plans are those where both parents participate voluntarily and feel heard. You can negotiate directly, through attorneys, or with the assistance of a trained family mediator. The Office of the Family Advocate also offers mediation services at no cost, a resource many parents overlook.

At a minimum, the following matters should be addressed during negotiation:

• Care and contact schedule. Which parent the child lives with during the week, weekends, school holidays, public holidays and special occasions (birthdays, religious holidays).
• Day-to-day and major decision-making. Who decides on routine matters (haircuts, extracurricular activities) and who must consent to major decisions (schooling, medical procedures, relocation).
• Maintenance contributions. While maintenance is typically dealt with under a separate maintenance order, the parenting plan should cross-reference maintenance arrangements and clarify how shared expenses (school fees, medical aid, extramural) are divided.
• Transport and handover. Where and when handovers take place, who is responsible for transport, and what happens when a parent is unavailable.
• Communication. How the child communicates with the non-residential parent (phone calls, video calls), and how parents communicate with each other about the child.
• Dispute resolution. A clause requiring mediation before either parent approaches the court is expected by judges and saves considerable cost.

Step 2, Draft the plan in writing

Once terms are agreed, they must be reduced to a written document and signed by both parents. A well-drafted parenting plan template for South Africa will contain numbered clauses, clear language, and specific dates and times rather than vague phrases like “reasonable contact.” I have seen countless disputes arise from ambiguity, and the single best piece of advice I can offer is: be specific.

The plan should identify the children by full name and date of birth, state the date of the agreement, and be signed by both parents. Although not always legally required, independent witnesses may assist in proving authenticity if a dispute later arises. If a family law attorney or mediator assisted in the drafting, their details should also appear on the document.

Step 3, Register the parenting plan with the Family Advocate

Section 34 of the Children’s Act provides that a parenting plan may be registered with a Family Advocate or made an order of court. To register a parenting plan, the parties must submit the signed parenting plan together with the prescribed application documents to the Office of the Family Advocate. The Family Advocate reviews the plan to ensure it is in the best interests of the child and, if satisfied, places it on official record.

This registration service is provided free of charge by the Department of Justice and Constitutional Development. No attorney is required, although legal advice at the drafting stage is strongly recommended. Registration gives the plan an official status and creates a record that can later be used as the basis for a court application if enforcement becomes necessary.

The typical timeframe for Family Advocate registration varies by office. In the larger metropolitan offices (Johannesburg, Cape Town, Durban), processing can take several weeks due to volume. In smaller regional offices, plans are often placed on record within days. In practice, I advise clients to follow up with the office if they have not received confirmation within four to six weeks.

Step 4, Convert the plan into a court order

Registration with the Family Advocate is useful but does not, on its own, give the plan the enforceability of a court order. If you want the full weight of contempt-of-court remedies behind the plan, you need to apply to the appropriate court to have it made an order of court.

Where the parties agree, the parenting plan can be submitted to the appropriate court together with the necessary consent documentation for consideration by the court. If the parties cannot agree, either party may approach the court for appropriate relief relating to the exercise of parental responsibilities and rights, where the court will determine the matter in accordance with the child’s best interests. In contested matters, the court may direct that the Family Advocate investigate the matter and provide recommendations regarding the child’s best interests. Contested applications are more expensive and time-consuming, and in my view, they should be avoided wherever possible through mediation.

Step 5, Costs and typical timeframes

The figures below are estimates only and may vary substantially depending on the attorney involved, the court, the complexity of the matter and the region in which the application is brought.

Family Advocate registration is free. A consent court order typically costs between R5 000 and R15 000 in legal fees (depending on the complexity of the plan and the attorney’s fee structure). Contested applications can cost significantly more, R30 000 to R100 000 or above, because of the litigation involved.

Timeframes depend on the court roll. A consent order in an uncontested matter can be granted within four to eight weeks of filing. Contested matters may take six months or longer to reach a hearing date.

Documents, Templates and Sample Clauses for a Parenting Plan in South Africa

A comprehensive parenting plan template for South Africa should include, at minimum, the clauses listed below. These are original sample provisions, adapt them to your specific circumstances.

Sample clause checklist 

• Identification clause. “This parenting plan is entered into between [Parent A full name, ID number] and [Parent B full name, ID number] in respect of [Child full name, date of birth].”
• Care and contact schedule. “The child shall reside with Parent A from Monday to Friday during school term. The child shall reside with Parent B every alternate weekend from Friday at 17:00 to Sunday at 17:00. School holiday contact shall be divided equally, with Parent A having the first half and Parent B the second half in odd-numbered years, and the reverse in even-numbered years.”
• Decision-making clause. “Day-to-day decisions shall be made by the residential parent. Major decisions relating to the child’s education, medical treatment, religious upbringing and relocation shall require the written consent of both parents.”
• Transport and handover clause. “Handovers shall take place at [specified location]. Parent A shall be responsible for delivering the child, and Parent B shall be responsible for collecting the child.”
• Communication clause. “The non-residential parent shall be entitled to communicate with the child by telephone or video call at least three times per week at a reasonable hour, being no later than 19:30.”
• Dispute resolution clause. “In the event of any dispute arising from or in connection with this parenting plan, the parties shall first attempt to resolve the dispute through mediation conducted by a qualified family mediator before approaching the court.”
• Safety clause. “Neither parent shall consume alcohol or illegal substances while the child is in their care. Neither parent shall expose the child to any person against whom a protection order has been granted.”
• Relocation clause. “Neither parent shall relocate with the child in a manner that materially affects the existing care and contact arrangements without the prior written consent of the other parent or an order of court.”

A parenting plan PDF can be prepared from these clauses and tailored to your situation. I recommend having a family law attorney review any draft before you sign it to ensure it adequately protects your rights and your child’s interests.

Registration with Family Advocate vs Court Order, Comparison Table

The table below summarises the key differences between the three ways a parenting plan in South Africa can be formalised. Understanding these differences is critical to choosing the right path.

In my practice, I generally recommend that clients both register with the Family Advocate and convert the plan into a court order. Registration is quick and free, and a court order enables enforcement through the courts.

Enforcing, Varying or Revoking a Parenting Plan in South Africa

Enforcement routes

If a parent breaches a parenting plan that has been made an order of court, the aggrieved parent can bring a contempt-of-court application. This is a serious remedy: a court can impose a fine or even imprisonment for wilful non-compliance. Where a parenting plan has been registered with the Family Advocate but has not been made an order of court, enforcement may require a further application to court, although the registered plan remains important evidence of the parties’ agreement.

In urgent situations, for example, where a parent is withholding the child or there is a risk of abduction, the court can be approached on an urgent basis for interim relief, including an order for the immediate return of the child.

Can a mother deny a father access to his child?

A parent should not unilaterally withhold contact from another parent who enjoys parental responsibilities and rights except in exceptional circumstances where there is a genuine concern for the child’s safety or wellbeing.

A parent who holds parental responsibilities and rights is generally entitled to maintain contact with the child unless those rights have been limited by a court or there is a legitimate concern regarding the child’s safety or best interests. If one parent is withholding contact in breach of a parenting plan, the affected parent should approach the Family Advocate or the court for enforcement. The best-interests-of-the-child standard governs every decision, and courts take a dim view of parents who frustrate contact without justification.

What makes a father unfit for custody in South Africa?

There is no statutory checklist for “unfitness.” Instead, the court applies the best-interests factors in section 7 of the Children’s Act. Factors that may lead a court to restrict or remove a parent’s care and contact rights include a history of physical, emotional or sexual abuse; substance addiction that impairs parenting capacity; abandonment or prolonged absence from the child’s life; a criminal record involving violence or offences against children; and mental illness that prevents the parent from meeting the child’s needs. The court considers each case on its own facts, neither parent is presumed unfit.

How to vary or change a parenting plan

Circumstances change, children start new schools, parents relocate, work schedules shift. If both parents agree to the change, they can amend the plan by written agreement, re-sign it, and re-register with the Family Advocate. If the plan was a court order, the amended plan must be taken back to court for incorporation into a new order.

If one parent refuses to agree to a change, the other parent must apply to court for a variation. The court may direct the Family Advocate to investigate the matter and provide recommendations regarding the child’s best interests.

Practical Tips to Reduce Disputes and Drafting Mistakes

Over more than a decade of family law practice, I have identified a consistent set of drafting errors and behavioural patterns that lead to parenting plan disputes. Avoiding them is straightforward:

• Be specific about times and dates. “Every alternate weekend” is better than “regular weekends.” “Friday at 17:00 to Sunday at 17:00” is better still.
• Include a dispute resolution clause. Requiring the parties to attempt mediation before litigation often saves money, time and emotional energy.
• Appoint a parenting coordinator. In high-conflict cases, a neutral parenting coordinator can resolve day-to-day disputes without the need for court applications.
• Document everything. Keep a shared calendar, confirm changes in writing (email or message), and maintain records of handovers. This evidence is invaluable if a dispute later arises.
• Plan for contingencies. What happens if a parent is ill on a handover day? If a child has an emergency medical procedure? If one parent wants to travel abroad with the child? Address these scenarios in the plan.
• Never use the plan as a weapon. A co-parenting agreement in South Africa works best when both parents treat it as a framework for cooperation, not a tool for control.
• Review annually. Set a date each year to review the plan together and assess whether it still meets the child’s needs. Children’s developmental stages change rapidly, and a plan that works for a toddler will not suit a teenager.

When to Instruct a Family Law Attorney

Not every parenting plan requires a lawyer. If both parents are in broad agreement and the arrangements are straightforward, the Family Advocate’s mediation services may be sufficient. However, I strongly recommend instructing a family law attorney in the following situations:

• There is a history of domestic violence, abuse or substance misuse.
• One parent is threatening to relocate with the child.
• The parents cannot reach agreement through direct negotiation or mediation.
• The plan needs to be converted into a court order.
• There are complex financial arrangements (business interests, trust assets, multiple properties) that affect maintenance and care.
• One parent is a foreign national and there are cross-border custody considerations.

A qualified family law attorney will ensure that the plan is legally sound, protects the child’s best interests, and is structured in a way that a court will readily approve. At Mandy Simpson Attorneys, we draft, review and register parenting plans for clients across South Africa and can advise on the most appropriate formalisation route for your circumstances.

Conclusion

To formalise a parenting plan in South Africa, parents should ensure that the agreement is clear, comprehensive and focused on the child’s best interests. Depending on the circumstances, the plan may be registered with the Family Advocate, made an order of court, or both. These processes protect the child’s best interests, reduce conflict, and provide parents with a structured framework for co-parenting. If you are unsure about any step or need assistance drafting a parenting plan, or making it an order of court, seek advice from a qualified family law attorney familiar with the Children’s Act and the Family Advocate process.

Sources

1. Children’s Act 38 of 2005, South African Government
2. Office of the Family Advocate, Department of Justice and Constitutional Development
3. J.S v R.S (4146/24) [2024] ZAWCHC 199 (2 August 2024)